it's the ironic & controversial rhapsody of an ambiguous bert

shopping...s'tarke...family...loss 4% bio...

shopping...s'tarke...family...loss 4% bio...

Dad came back on saturday and that means expensive meals and more pocket money. First up was dinner buffet at Swissotel Merchant Court's Market Cafe followed by out family's favourite past-time, coffee get-together at Plaza Singapura's Starbucks. Imagine this: a whole family well over 10 people, having a rare chance to sit down together and have dinner and coffee. Well, I like to think of myself as a family man and I do really appreciate this kind of precious moments. Especially since the family is getting bigger as the years go by. There were only 9 when I came into this world almost 17 years ago, now there is 16.

The expensive meals continued at Paragon's Ding Tai Feng the following day, and then came the usual activity of the month - shopping!! Additions to my wardrobe: 3 tops plus a short, and a cross from Lee Hwa/Aspial's S'tarke Men Jewelry.

Sigh. Come to think of it now. I've really come to cherish my family. So much had happened to us in the past 1 year and I guess like everybody, nobody except God knows what the future will be like for us.

Anyway, today actually did not start out good for me at all. Hangover in the morning resulted in the loss of attending mdm koh's last lesson of the semester and not being able to see my inorganic quiz results. The bomb was dropped on me when I sms-ed suhana and realised I had completely forgotten about the biochemical quiz. There goes my 4%.

Current Song choice: Endless Road by Lin Jun Jie & You Said by Darlene Zschech

Philippians 1:21 For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. (ESV)

My ZL was talking to the zone about this verse on sunday and previously on friday night, she also mentioned it to me. I do understand the verse but it is afterall, one of those difficult life principle to live out.

Live, so people can see Christ in you. I'm ashame to say that after having spent around 4 months in nyp, I did not live a testimony for anyone to see Christ in me. Stuart Holden suggested that the world does not believe in Him (Christ) whom they have not seen because it has cause not to believe in us whom it has seen! They appear to see so little in our lives that would make it worth their while sacrificing what they already have. I can totally relate to that statement he (stuart holden) made because I had been living like a sunday-Christian ever since august. Now that I have finally "cut" off some issues, I am determined to change my life. The cross I got my dad to buy for me I had originally intended to get it a long time ago but back then, I had deemed myself unworthy of carrying it. Right now, I am still unworthy of the cross but I want it (by hanging around my neck everyday) to serve as a reminder that I have a mission to accomplish, a God-given mission.

"to die is to gain." But for non-believers, there is no gain in dying. There is so much, yet only so little I can do when I look at those non-believers around me, be it people I know or total strangers. There are only 3 saved believers in my family right now. I fear that the rest may never get the chance to enter heaven. I can still remember that time when my grandmother was hospitalised and my cousin and I took the opportunity to share the gospel with her the night before her operation. The disappoinment, fear and sadness were so overwhelming when my grandmother said no to the gospel. I look at my friends, so many of them being non-believers and I have no idea how to reach out to each and everyone of them. I think of ian, the electron gang, belinda, my students and it scares me knowing that they had not receive Christ yet. Especially ian, he is one guy whom I feels extremely sad for. His knowledge of the Lord has been twisted ever since he was young and his pursuit of paganistic stuff just saddens me.

True, there may be stuff like evangelistic events I can use as a stepping stone to reach out to my friends but like I said, what I can do is limited. If God does not move, no matter how hard I work there will be no results because I may not be working in God's plans.

Psalms 127:1 Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.

Prayer will definitely help. Not that I'm expecting what happened in Lisu, China decades ago when Rev James Fraser was situated there to happen in singapore. (Mountain Rain)

Oh well, my future plans in GBC and/or Peace Zone has not been fixed yet. Thinking of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church because other than FCBC, that's the only church that I've got a friend in. Hmm, sounds quite silly to me.

posted by bert @ 1:43 AM