The key here is the difference between Happiness and Contentment. Telling myself that I want to be or ought to be Happy, it's as if I'm saying I'm still short of something and that I need to achieve or acquire something else in order to be Happy.
Contentment on the other hand is so much simpler in comparison. I'm Contented - therefore I'm already satisfied with what I have, instead of harping on wanting to gain what I do not.
It's being thankful for what has already been given to me, instead of asking for more.
Workwise I think I'm pretty glad with where I stand currently. A recent upcoming promotion and gradual climb in seniority has led to more responsibility and appointments falling to me (not something I desired of course) but hey, as long as my job pays for my credit card bills, I think I'm good. Besides a new found good friend at the workplace has made weekdays a little more bearable.
Now this other bit of issue that my mind has been revolving around for the past few days, it dawned on me that it's even more imperative for me to be contented.
Seriously, I'm not kidding when I say that it's nothing short of a miracle for me to find you again after 7 months. So many signs are pointing to the right direction - the pre-meeting jitters that were so bad it made me want to cancel on the pretext of a lie; the fact that I've always thought I would find someone who matches me in terms of education background & interest, hobbies, our similar names & compatibility and how my mind has been able to concentrate on nothing else except you.
When I agreed that we would have dinner just simply as friends, believe me, I meant it (of course, chivalry dictates that I buy dinner and I would not have it otherwise) because I know that you are not looking for a relationship right now and I respect that. The simplistic beauty of this matter lies not in the necessity of having you but in the gratification of being able to spend time knowing you.
If we are only just to be friends, trust me, I'm already very contented.
posted by bert @ 3:46 AM
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