Awfully Lonely
Awfully LonelyThe week's been awful. And I ain't just talking about the exams. Today was biochemical science paper and it turned out to be fairly easy, especially with the repetition of questions from past year papers. I just hope I can say the same for friday's upcoming paper but with mdm koh being the setter, fat chance!!
I miss that place so much. It's been a few months since. I am not exactly sure but I do not think that it's the same old reason that is causing this mood trough. I do not think it's those broken promises this time. Well anyway, it'll be good to be near the sea again. With the appropriate atmosphere of course, punggol end or east coast cannot be compared. In fact, punngol end is a nightmare!!
Well, I have to be ready for whatever is coming in future. I have to save the world you know. (*Keke) Just trying to make a joke though if anyone is laughing it must mean they are mad.
28 more days to the first trial, 35 more to the next, and 53 to the last. Allow me to indulge myself by allowing my feelings to take charge this time round. (*In case anyone thinks I've always let my feelings take charge, no, I chose to follow God the last time something similar came up but if God has better plans [ & I know He does] for me, I am still blind to it. Anyway I'm only a baby believer WHAT!! )I do not want to be sad. Period.
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I'm lonely. Yes I'll admit it now. All love's departed from my heart. When you feel unappreciated, unregconised, unwanted, I had hope once, one after the other but they were all just images in the mirror. Fake, I saw what I wanted to see, not what was really there to see.
It was the breeze, yes I want it to blow in my face again. There was the rooftop, the walkway along the side, the seats by the railings, the steps, the stars, the air, but, where was the one?
Oh how long had I search for it, two months short of three years. But now I ask, what was it I had been looking for? There was this voice, it sounded far away, but it can be near too. I reckon, it depends on how hard I listen and whether do I want to hear it or not. That voice, it said to me gently, told me harshly, whispered lightly and scolded loudly. Perhaps I had been searching for it in the wrong direction, or perhaps I should not be searching for it because it's wrong, or still perhaps it's the wrong thing all together that I'm trying to search for.
They sure are not kidding when they call it loneliness. Disappointment after disappoinment, but disappointments that should not even be present at all if I had been discipline and obedient. If... ...so many things on that single word, it spells of regrets, of unknowns. I get it now, or do I really?? If... ...
If... ...
posted by bert @ 6:50 PM
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