it's the ironic & controversial rhapsody of an ambiguous bert

Note: *Names have been changed to protect the identities of the parties. Apply Atbash Cipher to decode.

One half-moonlit night, at a bar called Mox, this guy song* was celebrating his friend's birthday. Now all of a sudden, there was this particular "serveress" who appeared to take the orders of song and his friends. What striked song the most was the appearance of this serveress, the looks, the speech, the voice... ...

Now if you're perhaps wondering what on earth is a serveress, it's simple. We have waiter and their counterparts - waitresses, so why can't we have servers and serveresses, runners and runneresses??

Anyway back to the story, so the most bold thought flashed across song's mind, why not for the very first time, he shall attempt to get someone else's phone number. As found out by song's friends, that serveress's name is thus*.

One of song's friend went to make the first move and he approached the serveress to ask all sorts of questions, stuff like the age and school, blah blah blah, but the end result was that the serveress cannot just dispensed phone numbers as it was still working hours.

Therefore, songn decided to do some damage control. After endless rounds of idiotic pacing around, standing up and sitting back down, drinking lemon-scented water, he finally gathered all his pluck, tried to be as unassuming as he could, strode right up to the serveress and...

This is the ideal conversation:

S: Hey, thus right?
T: Ya.
S: Okay, here's the deal. I think you're cute, can I have your number? Maybe we can go out sometimes, maybe supper after your work?
T: Really, you mean the 2 of us going out?
S: Yeah, so what do you say?
T: Okay, why not.

This is the actual conversation (filled with one word sentences from stryst):

S: Hey, thus right?
T: Ya.
S: Ermm, okay here's the deal, I gotta apologise to you for something.
T: Why?
S: Well, just now that guy who asked you for your phone number, actually I made him do it.
T: Oh.
S: Ya, I was the one who wanted it.
T: Ah.
S: So ya, I'm sorry if you were offended or something.
T: Oh, no it's okay but I can't give as I'm still working, so ya...
S: Oh no, that's alright. Ya, thanks.

And then song turned and walked away. Sigh, what a loser.

posted by bert @ 2:58 PM