it's the ironic & controversial rhapsody of an ambiguous bert

3.34am - late night, early morning, the graveyard hours.

I sat at the space between my bed and study table, lookin' at the laptop screen, at a particular window of a single singular photograph. I wished I had saved your photos in my folders or had them available offhand, but instead, in a pitiful bid to restrainst myself, I made the choice not to. And during moments of weaknesses, those few short minutes when my thoughts and very self became uncontrollable, those painful seconds of missin' you, I will log on to the internet and I will reminise.

Sometimes, the tears come.

Other times, they do not fall.

Tonight, a few dropped in silence of the melody of a song. One that just may be apt enough to depict my heart. (Or as Joey of "Friends" put it - my warm aortic pumps. So not funny)

The times were short, yes, agonizingly short.

I had always thought of Time as an enemy, one that always managed to have the upperhand in whatever battles I choose to partake in. At this trice, I wish I can turn back time. Definitely not stop time because it would be extremely inane and purportless without you around, without you beside me. I wish, and I wish with all my might that I can freeze myself back in time.

Meagre email correspondence, this phrase ringed in my ears. You first spoke those three words to me when you were describing your relationship with another, now I realise I can simply quote you to describe my relationship with you. Meagre it may be, I cannot not admit that everytime the mail comes in, a surge of warmth flows through me.

Hope perhaps??

The time now is 3.59am, a minute short of 4am. I took 25mins to write this.

posted by bert @ 3:59 AM