My life, it's as if one can seriously honestly never really have it all.
Love, career, health, family, friends.
There will always be one component missing.
I have been single for so long.
All the way trying to build up what I had hoped would become a career.
But now I know that this is a job I would not want to stay in.
So I sacrificed love for work.
Even then, did I really suceed in work??
My achievements, are they testament to anything at all??
Suddenly I feel that work is spiralling down for me now.
Does that signify something else will get better??
Will love really come for me by the end of this year??
That was what the tarot master said.
Then again, he did also predict I will have 2 children.
Nonsense??
Assessment's coming next tuesday.
And I know with my performance today I'd only fail the whole team.
Today was the second time I came close to crying ever since joining Vengeance.
Not because I was scolded or disciplined.
But you cannot imagine the pressure or the disappointment I face.
True I may have been a crybaby when I was younger.
And I'm not afraid to admit that.
But in recent years my tears have left me.
Today I felt so terribly alone and helpless.
It was a time when I needed support, someone to hold me up.
Was there anyone beside me??
Was there anyone to give me a hug??
To kiss me and let me know that I'm loved.
To tell me not to worry and that everything will turn out fine.
Do I even need to say the answer to my question??
I'm not saying that I have no friends or that my friends are unimportant.
I'm also not sympathising myself.
I'm simply expressing my loneliness.
I remember the last time I was hugged to sleep.
Oh, so long ago.
True some of my friends call me a slut for the things I've been doing and the things I've done.
But hey, I think it takes a slut to know another slut.
Maybe there were times I went too far.
But at the end of the day, I only did not want to be alone.
posted by bert @ 12:45 AM
3 Comments:
Loneliness is the common experience of all humans.. whether we have found what u called "love" or not, whether we hv a thousand friends or none,it still happens... And there is only 1 solution. Thing is, are u willing to put some things down & turn back? Or what can the other options really give you?
Wooaw... didn't know my blog was linked all the way to here till today..
And aiyo your post sounds so blue and down.. cheer up yea, experiences only makes your life flavourful in retrospect. Just don't do anything silly that makes you regret your whole life okay.. Some hot things are disease pots(guess u should know what i mean)
Have fun in the meanwhile.
ec
I am here for you bert!!!! remember u always have me to lend u a shoulder or just to give u a hug ...
like i said the more u wanted something, the more it's harder to get. You should enjoy your singlehood and get the attention as a slut ... think about it
Jayson
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